Islamic Calendar

progris ripot won

raiting won

I wook ap in de midel of de dak naiht. intenshionly, I dezaier tu kompelet mai job tunait. I hav many many job for de pas tu wik as mai lektuers a maounting me and mai clasmeit wit esai an asainmen. Dr. Hanim, mai belovved lektuer almos mek me mad an i spining becos i hav to rait long long esai. bat ok, i eksep them as mai shalenges. tis dais, pipel a soo bizy wit job. meny of mai freins story me deir problems. and meny tings hapen whish mak mai laif mor shalenges. mai broder oso pep tok to me abot maisef. he rimain me to be nais to pipel wat eve dey do to me becos god is angry if i am not nais .i don wan god angry to me.


I am setling my persuesif spish rite naw becos mis elya wan tu washt it tumorow. it has bin sush a wanderful taim fo me even dou i hav lot lot job. for wan ting, i am heppy reely bocos mai broder tok to me big taim. I mis him soo mush. i laik he corekting mai misteik when oders do not to. i crai after tok to him. i crai becos i tink i am bad pipel. i not a gud sister. i forget who i am sometaim. and wat suprais me mor is he seid he now i cheing when he reid mai raiting. he said kak cik, you shud be mor meilow in blogging. an i seid WAT?? it pazzel me u now!

hemmm, teink yu braders. i spiil evry tings to him to anvil my situashion at tis taim. after lisen to mai tok, he seid kak cik, i prod of yu. but stil i hop u teik care very greit becos i am far far frum yu. i very wori u now. zats it. he is my anjel rait.

so naw i wan tu forkus on mai stadi becos i wan to bi hier again in degri in teisel. i hop an i prey had to achiv mai ambishion.

ol of yu mus be wandering wai i rait zis wei. i oso no u fil laik wan to sleip mai feis wen reiding zis. hhuhhuhhuuu..zis is de wei ritaarded pepil rait. i not ritarded. i jus wan u tu sheir mai eksperin reiding de buk.(ritaarded )dey canot speil raitly. yu wil no if yu reid flawers for algernon.

Freedom

Life is not simply as trila and error... Hope people will get know that. learning phase in life is not to be attained to do everything you think you must have done neglecting what should and what shoult not.. Like other people said to be before...you can do anyhting and everything you want as your up and down is teaching you the way of a real life...And the thing that i concern right now is when the the power of freedom itself destroying oneself, go astray and damaged. Some may say, yeah go damn with your life first and then get up and live better. I always have this thought bugging in the mind........what if they don't have the time to repel the wrong deeds they had done and just die plainly with such life? who's going to be blamed? One thing I have to let you know as human..we are bounded with the rules of the Creator...have to obey to waht he say and his command..don't speak loud about your right. we don't have total authority to go against His order....we are just a servant...always become a slave...and we have master wathcing us every second we are here...

Live your life...but always remember that He might takes us in the most expected time..and when it comes to that, are we really ready for it.......wonder yourself

unforgiven wall

Can I say this....loves come and go.. hard to sustain the feeling towards the one we like. And let just say i'm sharing the same 'crocs' now for past fews days ago. Hate to feel the distance and wall built between us but the concrete wall is there. Am I the only one felt like that? girl's -instict signalling the changes. Have no idea what the other side think of this. is 'it' hardly know it or feel the same way ?or choose to ignore the massiveness of our situation is.

it's not about lovey-dovey love i'd put in...but the bond. Hurts a lot when you felt being ignored as you're shadow of life, none to be seen. I confessed there's a jealousy arosed and everytime you start to think about this, the- mammoth -is- stepping- on- my- chest- type of pressure is unresistable. Lost my breath...suffocating...extremely hate this part right here. Holding it to much with effortless energy on telling this..sharing it with trusted friend. Just can't help it..have to deal it myself. When you felt used to be entertained by 'it', speed up the act with the same flow, enthuasistic to see each other everyday, share the story when people hardly heard yours....how beautiful it was,

then out of the blue...the routine we have together faded in the way I don't want it to. I don't want it this way, please...it's okay to be static but just don't turn it upside down, worsen the joy I have..

Screammmm.....loudly..highest audible pitch..none ever heard me, only heart knows. can I turn it around? I felt we're like the aliens in some other way.. is it because we rarely meet and face each other? as I do meet 'it' at the fac. haish....how can I describe it in the ways you know exactly what I feel? 'it' always frighten me recently with the bipolar-like-act as 'it' out of sanity. 'it' sweet, nice, charming and peaceful in the clear sky. Spooky, fierce and unpredictable when thunderstorm passed by the days.

I want it that way...not this way.....turn around the ticking time...please....If you could

Exspo

Currently ....I am at Stdium Melawaati , attending 'Selangkah Bersama Uitm' program. What we are up to right now is entertaining all visitors here with wide smiling face, promoting our faculty (tesl of course). It started since 8-ish am and what can I say is.....it is so much fun, exciting and joyful here initially...but after 3 to 5 hours standing here....I am so tired ...my legs sore and I have back pain. Imagine you're talking the same literal things...countless repetition to hundreds of visitors...i felt like "can I just record this with cellphone and ask them to listen to it silently? only open mouth to say'any Q's?" that's what happen when you talk too much.Phew...tired but glad to be part of the team....like we and the lecturers having fun here..chatting(trash talking huhu)...and do siily things here as if were bored.

Now, the visitors are not as packed as this morning, so we are quite relieving right now. The best things that we have today are:

1. Take a trip with Miss Afni to the stadium
2. Free food with goodies bags...(we are like shopping here)
3. People pay full attention when you're talking (makes u look really important) hehhee..
4. Visitors believe whatever you said..(meaning that ....SAY EVERYTHING YOU WANNA SAY.huhuhu

That's it..but pity to these students...out of 10 students (spm holders) , only 2 of them got at least A2 in English. sorry, you're not legible in this program.

So....come here we offers you the hotties..
-for SPM holders, we have the asasi tesl
-for diploma holders, we give you bachelor of edu.
-for the jobless, we grant you the DPLI (diploma lepasan ijazah)

the challenge

Okay..Dean. I'm back again..
I'm answering your challenge on tagging...
U asked for it..ok
I repeat, U asked for it
The 6the pic from the 6th folder..
here u go
There's no obscene pic luckily, sorry to dissapoint you.
huhu
Hmm.. where are we just now?

okay..okay..got it,
tadaaaa!!!!

Happy? satisfied? What ever..

this the pic on last raya puasa session. Those are my cousins. From the left; asyraf, najib, hakim and helmi. nothing much for to say about them. no appetite to write right now.

You 're right. i have the collection of anime...and japanese pic but they're all secured in my pendrive. huhuhu......

Legacy for you and Me

Time is ticking ...time is running out. I on a mission for this entire weekend. Sorry to disappoint you dear readers, but expect no post for me for this while okay..no hard feelings( hey, I not heading to war then). I'm off to be a part of Program in shah alam also, under the Muslim society here in uitm..don't ask me to mention the name but it's like a Badan Dakwah at my school.

The purpose of this camp to be exact is to train all muslim to learn deeper Abbot islam, add on the input you have to be a good great muslim. And..rejuvenate your iman inside, like our iman is roller coaster, up like rocket down like a hell. It's a great-scared-excited feeling to be there. Reminding us of who we are, how important the role we play as human, caliph of earth. It's a lovely feeling to be corrected and guided by other muslims, means that we are not along, stand still together love each other. (sometimes it hurt.but still like be hurting this way, it teaches me to live on life).Pray hard for me to be just good.

We shall have the sermon, muhasabah and bla..bla...like tamrin at school. I advice you to attend this -camp-like-program if you are muslim. Then we can measure where are we towards the God. lost...spinning path....rocky road...wrong way... or just at the right lane? How good is our pray, how efficient are we reciting the holy Quran, uglyly or beautifully?, which come first to serve, the soul mate or the Creator; to pray or watch movie 1st? , galleons of teardrops in the life time is for whom? the lover or The Almighty? These Question I'll leave to you not to answered but good enough for you to think about it...

p/s : We are human indeed.. Nafsu..siapa boleh menduga?

And for Dean, I'll answer your tag later okey...not hard feeling

hatred...or resentment?

Don’t expect me to be the oh-you-are-funny-cute-girl type of girl this night. I just change my colorful attitude to dark-black behavior okay. Not only my good buddy, feel hurt today..I’m hurt too…. It said it hurt to be hurt. Definitely true my friend. Someone bashed me with the F**k word this present day. I might hurt him with the act oh-silent –you face. I’m saying it to all but somehow I looked at him when he’s soo loud at that time. Hey…that’s might be rude ( but I think it’s not..I not even scream) nor evil if you think it’s evil….I can be more evil and cold than that if you want. I can do that, although don’t want to do it. But why must say that word? I’m thinking it is the appetizer for every meal, others said he always use that word…I don’tknow, sad if it true then. Saying the word to others is something I really hard to accept. It’s the filthiest, ugliest, uncivilized word one shouldn’t say to others. I warn to YOU also, readers…it’s generally speaking. It’s never exists in my encyclopedia though. How hate I am towards others I won’t ever want to say that. But people just simply easy speak it out whenever they felt unpleasant and did wrong. I just didn’t get it…And when it comes to me, the victim of that F**k word, I knelt down to earth, fire sparking and I’m burned inside. Not sad at all, just angry, don’t like it and I don’t deserve to listen to that.


The thing is, am I going to forgive him? Haih…it’s hard. I hate to hate people and I don’t want to hate people, but don’t expect people won’t hate you if you are not so. Hello, the prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h (peace be upon him;in case you’re clueless) the greatest person of earth too, being hated by Abu Jahal, a human of course. So, what about us? We can’t makes people like us, and like what Dr. Hanim said, just live good and be kind, if they don’t like you, It’s their problem, nothing to do with you. Hahaha…she gave me reason to laugh.


To forgive might be divine, but zero of you ever said it was easy. When people deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. ( I don’t hold grudge, like I want). Just disliking people, not hating them. When people hurting someone, It cut you like a knife and to heal the wound it’s a long- time consumed. As if it is healed, it still leaves the scar forever, a sign of what have you’ve been through. Ask myself again, Am I going to forgive him? Hmm….Life is not that long, don’t day-dreaming if we are to live forever, maybe in couple of minute later, or by the end of this day, HE called upon us. Then again, prophet Muhammad too, forgive the ummah although the ummah did the greatest sin on earth.. so why to boast myself of not forgiving people. To forgive also is not a weakness to me, it’s bring the peace, serene and happiness to the heart as I’ve lifted the mass burden. Hence, let it be...

P/s: remember what plato said? (if don’t, read The Republic)Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Compare & Contrast

Now let me clarify this...
unwind the thread...
avoid confussion....
don't laugh okay...deal?
okay..let me tell you.

I just knew it few months ago but didn't mind it much. But something makes people might look fishy to me if I don't explain this.
huhu...lots of you know me using 'Zouq' as my pseudonym. it's totally different with that 'Zouk' okay. My 'Zouq' means soul..a pure serenity soul..it's an arabic word got it? While that Zouk is the night club as you all know centuries ago. For god sake know why it has such name. that's emberassing for me though. Like miss afni said, 'it's not a butterfly in the stomach..it's the whole farm of butterflies in my stomach'. that's what I felt..maybe you will gave me sinister look wondering if I ever go to Zouk or I've inspired by the club. Hohoho..no..no..never..tidak..tidak...
But what if I went there???
Hmmm..if that so, 'tanda kiamat lagi nak dekat la tuh'

Dr.Hanim- Contrast= same thing but totally different

A confession of a shopaholic

Whoa... I just went back to ipoh during this weekend. and I'm soo happy managed to do so, since the last semester break, there's no chance for me to go back my hometown. missing my mom so much. she's been busy as usual as the work load is like forever to finish-she told me. hmm, so we really want to spend time together and enjoy the splendid mom-daughter shopping spree.weee!! The next day, we had planned to go shopping at Ipoh parade and the first place I want to go before others is the Popular bookstore. huhu..for the reason you know...is because it's the book-time..hmm forget to mention you this; for me, every early of a month is a book-shopping time..it's a custom in my family to allocate some cash to buy books. huhu...voila,..I'm so in the mood at that time. It supposed to be tomorrow but then again, i had to go back to shah alam after the dawn..(really mean it, you can check my ticket).

it's a catch-my nerve feeling as I entered the bookstore..I've choosen few titles (after skimming and screening) to hunt. The most wanted was Darren Shan Saga Vampire( he also famous with Demonata),..craving for the entire series-12 series of that spooky books. Blame my friend on this..he made me so attached with the series. huhu..reafing that thing somehow make me wish to be vampire @ at least share the same abilities; vampire's eye's, longevity, super speed action, bla..bla..bla.. Okey, back to the story, I rushed into big crowded hall, Love the smell inside..it's the paper and books air..so fresh. Browsing somewhere there and..finally GOTCHA...got it, the whole set of the vampire series..wasting no time, I grabbed all of them together from the bookshelf..(without looking at the price;like I care) hmmm, so yummy and tasty.. wanna eat them..yum..yum..yum.

Then, I sit on the floor, stare at those.. flip over few pages to get to know the continuation of each series..(reading actually to be right). Only then just I looked over the price at the back, Rm 26.90 each. what a heck! for the novel less than 100 pages with that price? did they stick the wrong price on it?? OMG, that freind of mine happily got those 3 books which costed him RM 5 each!! Haih, it was during promotion i knew it, but never crossed in my box it will be such expensive. Do the math, if I take all the 12 series..guess how much should I pay at the counter.. have to dig more than RM 300 in mom's pocket..over the budget, babe...

I was sulky...felt like want to rob this store and take away everything....Hmm (I'm half blooded, devil-angle trait) So, i put them back on the shelf (mom catch her eyes on me but say nothing), looking for other series. luckily, the lucky lady by my side, I've found a trilogy of the same series..RM 39.90 and it was the last book on the top shelf. It 's sound better, less burdening.. relief.. So thanks god i found it..and the other books I wanted too.. Around 4-ish, I went to the counter to pay those 3 excluded mom's.. Phew...I'm not over my budget. Having these new books is a satisfaction for me.like having a daughter... love life like this..

~my daughters~

So...above all, just want to tell you I'm the luckiest girl to have mom like her...like she's the best, For one thing I shall remember, don't be stingy to buy books, and for me..to have a mass collection of books is always a dream...giving me a sentimental value that people just son't understand. Hey, I've got a friend said it rather shop on apparel rather than books, if it want to read books, just borrow them. hmm, okay, it's it philosophy, even I just don't get it how on earth it would think like that, telling it's not worth to waste notes on books. what about you? same paradigm??? I wonder