unforgiven wall

Can I say this....loves come and go.. hard to sustain the feeling towards the one we like. And let just say i'm sharing the same 'crocs' now for past fews days ago. Hate to feel the distance and wall built between us but the concrete wall is there. Am I the only one felt like that? girl's -instict signalling the changes. Have no idea what the other side think of this. is 'it' hardly know it or feel the same way ?or choose to ignore the massiveness of our situation is.

it's not about lovey-dovey love i'd put in...but the bond. Hurts a lot when you felt being ignored as you're shadow of life, none to be seen. I confessed there's a jealousy arosed and everytime you start to think about this, the- mammoth -is- stepping- on- my- chest- type of pressure is unresistable. Lost my breath...suffocating...extremely hate this part right here. Holding it to much with effortless energy on telling this..sharing it with trusted friend. Just can't help it..have to deal it myself. When you felt used to be entertained by 'it', speed up the act with the same flow, enthuasistic to see each other everyday, share the story when people hardly heard yours....how beautiful it was,

then out of the blue...the routine we have together faded in the way I don't want it to. I don't want it this way, please...it's okay to be static but just don't turn it upside down, worsen the joy I have..

Screammmm.....loudly..highest audible pitch..none ever heard me, only heart knows. can I turn it around? I felt we're like the aliens in some other way.. is it because we rarely meet and face each other? as I do meet 'it' at the fac. haish....how can I describe it in the ways you know exactly what I feel? 'it' always frighten me recently with the bipolar-like-act as 'it' out of sanity. 'it' sweet, nice, charming and peaceful in the clear sky. Spooky, fierce and unpredictable when thunderstorm passed by the days.

I want it that way...not this way.....turn around the ticking time...please....If you could