Thursday, April 21, 2011

When life is just being dramatic

One step for betterment

I hate the word busy. I restrain myself of not using the word. B-U-S-Y. I am not busy, it just that I’m loaded with lots of work. I’m easily irritated with those who claimed they are busy when in fact they are not that busy but playing with time to the last minutes work. What the...... There is time for us to arrange everything right, the matter of willingly to do it or to sacrifice something for it or not.  Let say if you had a lot of work to be settled that day and still have other things to do. Why not just cut your sleeping time to manage the work. The busiest man for me is Prime Minister. If you’re a Prime Minister, indeed you’re busy. What busy meant for students is a lot different to the Prime Minister. What we do mostly studying, leisure with friends and trivial business. This goes for most students. MOST, I mean for those who didn’t have any other responsibility than be a student. Time flies fast and makes my life a little hectic. My regular routine now should be divided for time as student, faculty affairs and university affairs. The three portion of management put me into running mode all the day. With the new scheme of working, I better fix my management skills and yes, I am still learning it. To put study first, leadership now is my aim. Everything happens is with reasons and a challenge to endure. Balancing is important, yeah it is. I try my best to maintain my credibility in my work as well as my reputation as a good student. So far, I able to manage well my study..this refers to the first test done for all subjects. For the second test, I don’t really have faith what is the outcome. I am quite worried if my study now for the result may not turn up as what I wishfully hope. I only hope that I can maintain the DL since my first semester and achieve the ANC at the end of my study. I don’t care what the others accomplished in their study, I only concern mine yet, best of luck to my friends.  

There is more pain and tears than happy, lovely life as a student representative. You hold back your painful feeling and taking care of others more than your life. To endure the pain alone is much more frustrating, fortunately I have my angels all along with me in joy and tears. When I feel like the whole world against you and be neglected, rejected, unwanted from others, images of my parents and family and my angels fly through my mind, just like a short film..they comfort the broken hopes and spirit to stand up and fight. I learnt a lot and blissful to be what I am today. It’s a token in life when you see the good sides of what had happened to your life. Instead of blaming the fate or cry over it, take the fate wholeheartedly and live with it is a therapy of living a meaningful life. I am aware that I had changed in some ways. I had endured many ugly, painful and being lowest state in my life. Being disrespectful, being shamed before the friends I know, being criticised so many times and having people talking behind my back never kills my spirit of living my life positively. It’s very hurtful indeed, by the more people critics and say ugly things about me, the more motivated I am. It’s a feeling where I want to improve myself to become better and to prove those people that they are wrong about me. It’s a challenge I put for me. I want to show that i am capable of what I’m doing and worth for everything I earn. I always inspired by Rain (a Korean artist) story of life. I get connected my story of life with his and how he overcome those obstacle to become the world star. Thus, he is my strength to keep on living and I must not weak. Anyway, thanks to my angels of supporting me all the way through, being a friends of mine with all my weaknesses and flaws, listen to me whenever I fully need it, aids my wound whenever it hurts painfully and most importantly, share my laugh and tears.  

The Brand new way of life~~

One step for betterment

It’s been two month away since I won the campus selection in my faculty. Never ever in my life I had a thought that I will be a student’s representative for my faculty. For those who had known me, they truly understand of what I meant for not to run the election in the faculty. I fully aware of my calibre and skills, many of them surpass me..much more entitled to be a student representative than I. This is the work done by the previous MPP in my faculty. They picked me although I had strictly mentioned no to and yeah, those who are actively involved with the HEP programs will be easily pick up as the candidates. I had my own reasons of joining those programs. It’s fun, I got travelled a lot to magnificent places, I enjoy for what I’m doing in those programs, meeting new people from all different faculties and most importantly, to not be regretted of not learning in depth about UiTM itself. Personally, I believe that a true UiTM student should know what is really inside UiTM and being patriotic as the university student. It simply knows the current issues circling around UiTM, the administration, why is UiTM is being ruled this way etc. In other words, don’t be ignorant-study, eats, sleep. Appreciate the chance we have while we are here. Back to the previous point, this is not my dream (of being a MPP) though but everything that had happened is a destiny God had at me. No matter how far I run from the reality, it just didn’t change the fact of me being one. 
I heard a lot what people said behind my back. It’s like “what daa”, “the others are much better than her”, “why must she pfft”.  Yeah, those words came from them and mostly the collegiate. I didn’t give a thought over it. My answer them is just, “if that so, why isn’t you/he/she just ran as candidates for the selection? Instead of blaming those had won which you complaint as not qualified, not in your favour, ‘alien’ etc...why don’t you give a try or persuade those potential talents to run the election.  I see people talk a lot of their dissatisfaction rather than find resolution to their worry or problem. The best part is when people play two faces. You now it best right. The funny thing is they act if the person didn’t know of their regular habits of talking behind her back and pretend to be so pure and innocent like real friends. Well, it actually hurts more because those kind of people, I just don’t know which to believe about them when they be nice. Is it for real or fake. My concern now is to quickly finish of what I had started and give the best service to the faculty. It’s a responsible and burden only I know. Do the right thing, ignore the others. The title I’m having now, there is not slightest proud in it. Should I be one? Nope. It just for a year, egoistic kills a leader. I hate those who act like one and hate to be as one. Come on, there are bunches of people living with higher post are very down to earth. Be moderate in everything. Life is just that short as in the end we’re buried under the same ground.

I'm very comfortable now living this new way of doesn't imply everything has been great and days are gloomy some days..rains and's a mixture of everything that make my current state is very pleasing...

  That’s for now, so long after a hiatus.