what should I say about life during this week...everything is FULL of things to do...meeting assignments date, revisions, a little business to cater, and not to be forgotten, myself to take care off...i really have to keep an eye on myself......to remember things i occasionally tend to forgot..reminding myself of what should I do, how should I be...MANNERS........and where to go..it's all sound soo weird-keeping an eye on yourself...but that is what I'm working on.......
yesterday was a tiring day.....i felt exhaustedly worn - out...it affected me physically but the most dominant will be psychologically....I screwed things up....when it seemed to go well in the first place... feel bad of myself because I'm the one who keep it everything in my palms... and what did I do was I missed a slide of my group member topic which how on earth it's happening...but clearly it's my fault.. and i tell you, once you get caught red handed, people will never ever give you a face... it was my first timer...and lost the trust from people, i believed...they'll set a bad mark on you..it's a blame people will set on me, but i deserve it because I know it is my flaw..it just that i can't bear this fate..... I never want to screw up my on presentation, the last thing to think off and for this I feel terribly sorry..sorry..sorry...it might look like a minor mistake to you..but to me..it's the HUGE....SHAMEFUL event to me as it makes me look like people couldn't count on me anymore...it's shameful because i can't handle thing which I presume I can...
there's a previous presentation done in class, when my friend acclaimed found missing, but it's not actually... my member give me the authority to delete any redundant data in the slides for the sake of making a shorter presentation... (after cutting on slides, we still have 45 slides to present, can't make it briefer) which unfortunately belong to my member's.... so, it is accounted as my fault too??? only we, the member group know the actual truth, but i am surely unsure what the other would say .......hmm.....i sit back and think a lot...console myself of what had happened.... where did I went wrong...i want to make it right....I pray GOD will have the light on me.........
the beautiful thing of that terrible mistake that I could look forward is never handle two things in a time....you might think that you wan't to ease the work by doing both...i fact, you should share it with your peeps...next time, I better focus on paperwork only...just the paperwork..let the other settle on another stuff...it's focus and teamwork that deliver success. then again, I'm sorry (i do say sorry to the person personally)........ i'm expecting your assumption towards me...I have no clue what's in your mind..whatever it is........I can't change how your mind speaks......
i take my work seriously....i do procrastinate in doing them but ensure I'll meet the dateline..... when it come to assignment project, it is important to me to makes everything look perfect in the eyes of the lecturer, so if we work as a group, to beat the highest score is what I aim for... i scrutinize everything, I'll check every lines we wrote...examining every list of references we had if they're all used in the paperwork..as if not I'll be delighted to erase those selected from the list.... (just to make sure everybody won't take it for granted, or lie) and know it's a bit crazy which not every people would willingly do that. noticed that, I can be freakly stern in pushing people to meet the schedule..which make some feel uncomfortable to be on my flow as I could notice....but fortunately I know what 'mellow' means... (the signal from inevitable incident that happened to them)...... but when you have a high expectation on work from others....you'll know that people would double their expectation on your works....it's a pressure and challenge that I call upon to...
gladly, I'm really thankful because ALLAH always arranged the best thing for me....He put me with the finest team members...where everyone give them all in their work (a compliment based on your work sent to me).... although you really stamp a deep patient with some in handling works (to give guidelines and help them work things out) always open to any improvement and betterment.... flaws and misunderstanding always a shadow....hunt us everywhere we go.....it's how we fix them up...
that 's it......I look things, and live my life positively........yet, realistic.....i got hurt when condemned by people...i feel sad when people criticizes my work........but it's temporarily (according how people embraced me...be mellow in your words because you're not my lecturer)... let it be... because it shows that people care....there's a room for you to be a better person.
-a time to reminiscence yourself-
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